Have you ever been in a relationship that makes you feel stuck, yet you can't seem to get out of it no matter how hard you try? You, my friend, are involved in a "toxic relationship." According to Healthline, a medical and mental health website, this sort of relationship is defined as one in which the persons involved are continually exhausted or sad after spending time together.
A healthy relationship brings out the best in you and helps you feel good about yourself, whereas a poisonous relationship makes you feel bad about yourself and poisons your life. According to Abu Zahiduzzaman's book "Toxic Relationship," despite the appearance of a completely healthy relationship from the outside, toxic relationships only involve rage, discontent, irritation, and aggravation in one's direct partner, and finally lead to grief. According to Dr. Carla Marie Manly, there are various reasons for a relationship to be called toxic, and the indications might be subtle or evident. The following are the five forms of toxic relationships to avoid.
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1. Relationships with Narcissists
Have you ever had the impression that your spouse rarely considers your feelings and that everything they do is only for their own benefit? This might be a telltale sign that you're in a narcissistic relationship. When one or both parties have a narcissistic personality, this sort of relationship develops.
According to studies, your narcissistic spouse is more likely to engage in manipulative or game-playing activities and is less likely to be devoted long-term in a narcissistic relationship. If your spouse is all about themselves, always demanding attention and validation, they may be a narcissist, according to Dr. Lisa Firestone, a psychologist and author. These individuals typically struggle to love others and lack the ability to feel empathy and real concern for their partners' feelings.
2. Maintaining Relationship Control
Is your spouse interested in having a say in everything you do, including your wardrobe, hairstyles, and even your schedule? If you've ever felt that your spouse meddled too much in your personal life, this is the relationship for you. In many partnerships, one partner assumes the leadership position while the other appears to follow; this is quite natural in real life. A dominating relationship, on the other hand, occurs when your spouse strives to dominate and control most parts of your life.
Val Holden, a relationship and family counselor, has classified dominating as a kind of relationship abuse. People in dominating relationships are often scared, anxious, or guilty, and their partners are emotionally abused.
Overactive jealousy, crossing personal boundaries, and seeking to isolate you from your friends and relatives are all indicators of controlling relationships. If these indications occur in your love connection, it's critical to take them seriously, ensure your safety, and be prepared to leave if necessary.
3. Relationships in which two people are reliant on one other.
When you're in love, it's natural to feel a little needy and reliant on your lover; after all, nothing feels better than being looked after by someone you adore. However, if you ever feel as if your life would fall apart if you didn't have the other person, or if they take care of practically every element of your life and you can't live without them, you're probably in a codependent relationship.
This sort of relationship is characterized by Fort Behavioral Health, a Texas-based mental health organization, as a dysfunctional relationship in which one person is a caregiver while the other takes advantage. It's important to note that codependency may have a negative impact on both parties in a relationship, not just the caregiver. It permits one spouse to fall further into their love addiction while compelling the other to make sacrifices in order to satisfy their mate.
Codependency, like narcotics, is highly addictive and may be tremendously harmful to your mental health. Fortunately, Medical News Today has discovered that taking modest measures toward separation in the relationship, like as picking up a new activity, getting a new pet, or making new acquaintances outside of the partnership, might help you establish a more healthy and balanced relationship with your partner.
4. Relationships between scorecards
In a good relationship, one of the most important rules is to give and take. Offering and taking actions toward each other is fun and delightful in a good, loving relationship where you both sincerely care about the other's well-being. Have you ever noticed that your spouse mentions how they always pay for your dates or how they always take out the garbage and clean the dishes on a regular basis? This might be due to the fact that they keep track of who provides the most to the relationship.
This sort of score-keeping appears to be a typical way to keep a relationship balanced, but as Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein points out in his book "Why May't You Read My Mind?" this type of conduct can be incredibly damaging to your love connection. It fosters bad sentiments between couples; if your spouse solely thinks about what you're not doing, they're more likely to view your limits rather than your good contributions to your relationship.
When you find yourself in this scenario, resist the desire to protect yourself or counterattack; instead, have an open and honest talk with your spouse. They will listen to your feelings and offer you a chance to reconnect and recharge if they truly love you.
5. Abusive Relationship
Finally, the most hazardous sort of toxic relationship is one in which one partner is physically or emotionally abusive to the other. Abuse is defined as treating someone with aggression, contempt, cruelty, hurt, or force, according to Kids Health, a non-profit mental health organization. And it's considered an abusive relationship when someone mistreat their spouse in any of these ways. Abuse can take the form of physical, sexual, or emotional abuse, or any combination of these. It's not always evident that you're in an abusive relationship, and it's typical for victims to feel that the violence is their fault and that they 'deserve' it.
It's vital to remember, though, that you're never to blame for your partner's abusive conduct. On the surface, some emotionally abusive relationships appear to be totally normal, and the abuser might be a man or a woman. It's common to be terrified of leaving someone who abuses you, and to believe that you won't be able to make it on your own. It's critical to realize that there are individuals who can assist you at every turn.
If you ever find yourself in this scenario, if you're feeling intimidated or damaged in your relationship, it's advisable to get help from someone you trust and look into alternative choices. It's all about bringing you joy and happiness, not anguish and dread, when you're in love.
Have you ever been in one of these toxic relationships? Getting out of a toxic relationship with someone you love deeply may seem impossible, but believe me when I say that you can do it.
If you're suffering with a toxic spouse, there are a variety of organizations that may assist you. Also, speak with someone you trust, such as a friend, counselor, or youth worker. Keep in mind that you're not alone.